CW3 Gary Griesmyer
W01 Gary Griesmyer in Flight school
Gary Griesmyer, UGA police officer
Disclaimer: I hate blogger: it won't let you load your pics in the order you want them. UGH!!!
My husband has a very demanding job. I'm sure many people's husbands do but this is my blog so I'm gonna whine if I want to. Unfortunately, he never gets a sense of accomplishment. For those who do not know, Gary is the Special Agent in charge at the Fort Myer, VA CID office. That's Criminal investigation folks. Think CSI. OK, now that that's covered I'll back up. When Gary and I got married he was a police officer at UGA. Pretty cool gig but he had to put in a lot of overtimes (without pay!) and be at the beckon call of the unit. Then he/we decide to go fly helicopters for the Army-which led us to CID. It's a loooong story that I may blog about later but who really cares but me and him anyways? :) After CID school, we got stationed in Fort Hood, TX and were able to stay there 4 years. Gary was a case agent with over 25 cases on his desk at one time, got deployed to Iraq where he was lead investigator on one of the most HEINOUS crimes that were committed over there by one of our sworn, came back and went into EC-economic crimes, then CCC-computer crimes where he was able to get TONS of awesome training! He climbed quickly up the "ranks" in the 7 years that we've been in the Army. But with added rank comes added responsibility.
A year ago at this time, I was in my bishop's office crying my eyes out b/c I felt like Gary could not handle the stress of work, school, family, church, scouts, etc, etc. And honestly, I couldn't handle Gary not being able to cope and deal. I can handle all my stuff most of the time but when his stress starts creeping upon me---forget it!
I SWORE to Gary I would not have anymore children b/c he never helps and I end up empty. It's not because I felt overwhelmed as a mom, the kids were fine! Great! I felt that by the time I gave to everyone else, I was empty and needed a bit of refill myself and was looking to him to give that to me. He was empty too! So now what?!? Gary never makes it home for dinner. He barely makes it home in time to kiss the children before they have to go to bed. He wants to be home. He is a home body. If I gave him the choice of spending a week on the beach or at home, he'd pick home! (Ummm, not me!) Anyways, my bishop then gave me a book to read, one for Gary to read, gave me some nice advice and sent me on my way. The books helped us both and we were doing pretty good. Gary was managing his stress.
Here we are one year later. Guess what? I'm pregnant. It's already hard for me to carry my 20 month old in and out of stores as well as my ittybitty 14 week belly. (Can you imagine when I am 38 weeks?!) I'm not as young as I used to be. My house is not as clean, I am not as Wonderwomany-I know that's not a word but my friends will totally get what I'm saying. I'm starting to feel the emptiness again and the need for him to fill it. Do you think he has anything left when he gets home from a long day of meetings at the Pentagon, meetings with the US Attorney, meeting with people from all these stupid boards he has to sit in on and listen to cases about husbands and wives who smack each other around and lie and cheat and steal. Does he have anything left after comforting the mother of a young man who hung himself in his barracks room, or after gettting a confession from a P.O.S. that sexually assaulted his 14 yr old cousin?
It's a vicious cycle. Satan knows us every bit as well as Jesus does. He spent countless eternities with us too. He is real. He knows how to get us with guilt or pity-parties or the "I needs" or whatever the case may be. So, I guess I can handle carrying around my pregnant self and my 20 month old. I guess I can handle the enormous mess my 3 year ALWAYS seems to make everywhere he goes. I guess I can handle homework and piano practice and chores and teaching and training my children in the gospel. I guess I can cook a decent meal for us every now and then (I mean, let's not go crazy!) I guess I can handle my job as a Premier Designs Jewelry Lady, the finances, and anything else that may come up. My husband protects me, my children, and all of you from the nasty in the world. Well, he's trying-he's fighting the good fight. He puts the bad guys away. But his job never ends, he rarely gets to see the verdict come in, before he gets one out, 5 more cases come in.
He is the love of my life and my super hero.
What do I need to learn? The thing I have blogged about for about 3 years now and still don't seem to get it. Trust in the Lord. He will bring me strength. He is the only one who can fill my cup. He's waiting for me. He wants to help me. So why do I not run to Him? Because for some reason I think I am WonderWoman and can conquer the world-so not true. So my one and only goal this year: Trust in the Lord more fully. Come to Him. Reach out to Him.
I bet my life will be easier. What do you think?
