A month (or more) in revue

Where to start?
Beginning of Feb we found out the sex of our baby: A GIRL!!! Super excited!

A week later, I go back to the OBGYN and am told that I need to get a follow up ultrasound b/c of cysts on the baby's brain. I freak until I talk to my BIL and SIL and do some research about how common this is and how 95% of the time, it goes away.

I go to Atlantic City with Gary! By myself for a whole week! My mom came from GA and took care of my boys for me so Gary and I could get away. Gary had a training there and spouses could come, so I decided it was now or never since the Army keeps jacking our leave and such. UGH! That's another post in and of itself.  Anyways, I was totally bored during the day but brought all my Premier Designs paper work that I inputted while Gary was in class. We had lunch together everyday.  He would get off work and we would go explore and eat fabulous food full of lovely conversation without interruptions. So great! Thanks Mom for taking care of my babies!

I get back and have to take Eli to the Dr. He has strep and maybe another ear infection. His tubes had fallen out already. Since then he's had 3 more ear infections. YIKES! I took him to the ENT a week later and he still has fluid behind his ears. They gave him a test for his ear drums (or something) and both of his ears are completely flat lined-NOT GOOD!

Eli playing before getting his 1st set of tubes in!

Elijah about 1 yr ago getting ready for his 1st set of tubes :(

Meanwhile, I'm working my butt off with Premier. I had many shows as well as my own renewal show for my 1st anniversary with Premier. It coincided with my b-day. So I threw myself a party! My girlfriend, Salena, made me a Wonder woman cake. I loved it!

On my actual birthday, Gary took the day off. We really didn't have plans (b/c I did not make any! UGH!) so we ended up being "persuaded" by my SIL to get food storage. What?!? It was my stinkin' birthday! But, that's what we did. We bought 1/2 year food storage for our whole family. Because we spent so much on that, I wouldn't let Gary take my truck in to get a new CD player put in. ---This is one of the things I told him I wanted for my birthday 2 months previously. Somehow, it didn't seem as important as before. Because we bought that much food storage, we had to find a place to put it! Which meant we had to clear out our garage, which meant putting up bunkbeds in the boys room, which meant cleaning and rearranging their room, and the list goes on...
Soccer practice and then cake with family sealed the jammed backed day.

Me at 19ish weeks preggo

Meanwhile, I went back for the follow up ultrasound. Then I go back to the OBGYN where they say, I need another ultrasound b/c my AFI is low. And with a smile on the nurse and doctor's face says, "Don't worry, just drink lots of water and rest". I had all 4 boys with me at this apt. They were great waiting for 45 mins in the waiting room but were spent by the time the actual apt came. Rest? While I'm wrestling with Ammon and Eli and threatening Gabriel and Zechariah with bodily harm if they touch one more thing...  Really? HAHAHAHA!!!

I go home and start researching low AFI: then, I start to freak! Fast Sunday was coming up so I asked all my family to fast with me and my boys (anytime I say "boys" this includes Gary) that my AFI would increase and the baby would be healthy and my body would support this pregnancy the way it needs to.

I went back for my follow up ultrasound. Guess what?!? My AFI is higher! Prayer works and God hears and answers them. I'm still downing the water and trying to rest (this may be a permanent change for me!) So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! to everyone who joined us in this fast and praying for our baby girl. She is already gorgeous and I can't wait to get her here healthy and whole and perfect in every way!

Isn't she beautiful?!? That's her little elbow tucked around her head while she sleeps. I'm in love already!

  

I feel extremely loved and blessed by my Father in Heaven. Faith is a hard concept for me sometimes as even though I know prayer works and I need to trust in Him, sometimes I can't let go of the panic and fear. I'm working on it though. Gratefully, God is willing to work with me! :)

We're having a GIRL!!!

Thursday Feb 10th, Gary and I packed up our 4 boys and headed to Tower Radiology for my ultrasound. I was excited, I was nervous, I was worried! My technician was super sweet b/c Ammon and Eli were NOT being very cooperative! She even got the boys a tin can full of coloring books and crayons to hold their attention. Right off the bat, we got a glimpse of ...nothing. I mean, we are SO used to being able to spot that "turtle" from a mile away. Gary and I gasped. Really? Is that it? Are you sure??? Of course, these thoughts were not vocalize out loud. I think Gary knew I would kill him because I was saying, "Oh my gosh it's a GIRL!" There was no room for doubting Thomas in my midst. After the head checks and heart checks, etc, etc. The tech wanted to be 100% positive it was a girl so she poked and prodded my tummy until little miss thing quit crossing her legs (she's already so modest!) and showed us her goodies. Turns out we were looking for 3 little lines. Man, this girl stuff is already hard! I mean, boys are a dead give away! Anyways, we found them! I held it together until we all filed out into the waiting room where several ladies counted the boys coming out, then saw me, then asked the question: "Did you get a girl this time?" I lost it! I started balling and smiling and shaking my head like a dumb idiot and bearing my testimony of prayer and receiving blessings when we put forth faith. There was such a peace that came over that room and several of them even gave an "Amen". :) We got in the car, bowed our heads, and through choked up voice and many tears expressed our gratitude that the Lord saw fit to answer our prayers and send us a baby girl to our family. Gary was a man of few words, he was a bit dumbfounded. The boys are ecstatic! and So am I!!!

Things kids say

I have a friend who is constantly blogging about the funny things her kids say. The misuse words, come up with new meanings to words, come up with just crazy ideas, and it all gets a good laugh. Well, my kids don't typically misuse words or say crazy things (at least not around me) but I did catch a super sweet thing the other day that I never want to forget.

Here's the conversation:

Me: "Zech, Gabe, get your clothes on, its time to get ready for school."
Gabe: I don't WANT to go to school!
Me: "Gabriel I'm sorry you don't want to but you are going, those are the rules, get your cothes on. You have 5 mins or you go to school in your PJ's." (I walk out to tend to the younger 2 kids who cannot dress themselves)
Gabriel-under his breath: No I'm not going to school and you can't make me, (even softer) stupid mommy."
Me (reentering the room b/c OF COURSE I heard this!): "Gabriel, that was very disrespectful and you do NOT talk to me that way. DO you understand? I want an apology."
Gabriel: Sorry Mommy
(I leave the room to finish getting the others dressed)
Zechariah: "Yeah, Gabe you can't talk to Mom like that because you might make her cry and I don't like it when she cries."

My heart melted and I got a tiny tear in my eye. But don't worry, I didn't show Zech! :)

Happy Thoughts: Gratitude Journal?

I figured I should blog about happy things since the last post was a bit of a downer and sometimes I don't feel the desire to post unless my head is so full of turmoil I need a place to spew it out. (sigh) I honestly need to keep a gratitude journal b/c there are so many wonderful things that are happening and DO happen everyday in my life. Here's just a few I've been thinking about:

• I am SO pleased about the growth of my oldest son, Zechariah. I am grateful the Lord saw fit to press upon my heart and mind after I did all that I could do, to seek medicinal help. I could give a rat's butt what people think of that decision now. (I didn't used too-it used to hurt me deeply) I know that it was the right choice. He is sooo much happier. He is able to be the person he wanted to be but somehow just couldn't. I am grateful I could help him in this way at such a young age so that he does not have to go through the same struggles that some of my family members went through because of the same chemical imbalances.
• Gabriel's laughter lights up my life. I have worried about my Gabe. He is the 2nd son. He has always been in Zech's shadow. Zech is such a strong personality I feared for Gabriel's ability to make his own way in the world without following the crowd due to low self esteem. What a blessing he is! His personality is SO fun! It is exactly perfect for the dynamics b/w him and Zech. Gabriel takes pride in telling jokes and being funny and he is SO cute about it! His laughter is truly contagious! I am so grateful for his fun loving spirit!
  
• Ammon is precious! He is also precocious! I enjoy spending my days with him by my side. What a handsome little guy he is too! Be still my soul!!! His smile melts my heart! He comes up with the greatest stories, he talks to me like a little person-asking me about things, my feelings, telling me about his dreams and his feelings. It is pretty cool! Ammon and Elijah seem to be a perfect pair. They get into stuff and make messes and drive me crazy sometimes but the joy they have in the process is truly inspiring. I hope they always stay close.
• Elijah is a blissful mess. He is not speaking as clearly as my others did at this point but he understands EVERYTHING!!! Be careful what you say around him. He detests fighting and will yell at the top of his lungs if the other boys are yelling at each other. Will he be our little peacemaker or is he just waiting to get big enough to throw down with the others? Either way, it will be fun to watch.
  
• My Premier Designs jewelry business is taking off! It seems that the Lord is blessing me even despite my lack of faith. (He tends to do that with me a lot) I am talking to more and more people who are interested in becoming a jeweler as a way to help with their family's finances. My SIL, Sarah has turned out to be my biggest cheerleader. I desperately needed one too! She has talked with many of her friends and family who are now taking a look at the business! Who knows what will happen?!
• My husband loves and adores me. I am SOOO grateful for this. He is my best friend! Our 10 year anniversary was last year, we are now approaching our 11th. Our 10 yr cruise never happened. I am debating headed somewhere just the 2 of us whether we have the $ or not. (I know, that is so bad huh?) Hmmmm, maybe I'll have to pray for some more weekends like this last one: I had 2 jewelry shows retailing over $2,000. My profit is 50%. Sweet huh?!?
• I have amazing family and friends! I typically do not get on the phone and call them all and keep in touch like I should. I do not leave my house and go out with my friends like I should. But I am surrounded by the most amazing people in my life. Let me just name a few: Sarah Griesmyer, who knew we would get so close and enjoy living next to each other? I love it! :), Kelsie Carrington, you are the most caring person I know with the biggest heart too! I am SO grateful to have you as my BFF., Aunt Nancy-what would I do without you? You are always there in time of need and willing to lend a hand, Salena Thomas- I wish I spent more time with you. You are cooler than you even know. The list goes on and on and on. These are just a few of the loved ones I have that touch my life every day for good.

I promise to post pics on my next blog post and to pimp out my page. Supposedly I can do way more stuff than I do. Who has time for all that really? I'm doing good to type this out and send it into cyber space! Oh well! Now you know that I am blessed and everything is not doom and gloom. In fact, most of the time I am a happy person! Sure, I've got problems and trials but I try to remember that it is how we deal with those trials that really matter. That is our test. I hope I pass! Sometimes I feel like I'm just barely making it through the day much less this life! But then I think about how quickly this life passes and I get all sad and teary b/c my babies are growing up and I wish I could just stop time or slow it down so I can get all that I want to instill in them there. What if I don't? -----holy crap I'm getting on a whole new subject/tangent/rant. I should stop here!

Sometimes I have to laugh at myself! :)

My husband, the super hero...ammended

CW3 Gary Griesmyer

W01 Gary Griesmyer in Flight school

Gary Griesmyer, UGA police officer

Disclaimer: I hate blogger: it won't let you load your pics in the order you want them. UGH!!!

My husband has a very demanding job. I'm sure many people's husbands do but this is my blog so I'm gonna whine if I want to. Unfortunately, he never gets a sense of accomplishment. For those who do not know, Gary is the Special Agent in charge at the Fort Myer, VA CID office. That's Criminal investigation folks. Think CSI. OK, now that that's covered I'll back up. When Gary and I got married he was a police officer at UGA. Pretty cool gig but he had to put in a lot of overtimes (without pay!) and be at the beckon call of the unit. Then he/we decide to go fly helicopters for the Army-which led us to CID. It's a loooong story that I may blog about later but who really cares but me and him anyways? :) After CID school, we got stationed in Fort Hood, TX and were able to stay there 4 years. Gary was a case agent with over 25 cases on his desk at one time, got deployed to Iraq where he was lead investigator on one of the most HEINOUS crimes that were committed over there by one of our sworn, came back and went into EC-economic crimes, then CCC-computer crimes where he was able to get TONS of awesome training! He climbed quickly up the "ranks" in the 7 years that we've been in the Army. But with added rank comes added responsibility.

A year ago at this time, I was in my bishop's office crying my eyes out b/c I felt like Gary could not handle the stress of work, school, family, church, scouts, etc, etc. And honestly, I couldn't handle Gary not being able to cope and deal. I can handle all my stuff most of the time but when his stress starts creeping upon me---forget it!
I SWORE to Gary I would not have anymore children b/c he never helps and I end up empty. It's not because I felt overwhelmed as a mom, the kids were fine! Great! I felt that by the time I gave to everyone else, I was empty and needed a bit of refill myself and was looking to him to give that to me. He was empty too! So now what?!? Gary never makes it home for dinner. He barely makes it home in time to kiss the children before they have to go to bed. He wants to be home. He is a home body. If I gave him the choice of spending a week on the beach or at home, he'd pick home! (Ummm, not me!) Anyways, my bishop then gave me a book to read, one for Gary to read, gave me some nice advice and sent me on my way. The books helped us both and we were doing pretty good. Gary was managing his stress.

Here we are one year later. Guess what? I'm pregnant. It's already hard for me to carry my 20 month old in and out of stores as well as my ittybitty 14 week belly. (Can you imagine when I am 38 weeks?!) I'm not as young as I used to be. My house is not as clean, I am not as Wonderwomany-I know that's not a word but my friends will totally get what I'm saying. I'm starting to feel the emptiness again and the need for him to fill it. Do you think he has anything left when he gets home from a long day of meetings at the Pentagon, meetings with the US Attorney, meeting with people from all these stupid boards he has to sit in on and listen to cases about husbands and wives who smack each other around and lie and cheat and steal. Does he have anything left after comforting the mother of a young man who hung himself in his barracks room, or after gettting a confession from a P.O.S. that sexually assaulted his 14 yr old cousin?

It's a vicious cycle. Satan knows us every bit as well as Jesus does. He spent countless eternities with us too. He is real. He knows how to get us with guilt or pity-parties or the "I needs" or whatever the case may be. So, I guess I can handle carrying around my pregnant self and my 20 month old. I guess I can handle the enormous mess my 3 year ALWAYS seems to make everywhere he goes. I guess I can handle homework and piano practice and chores and teaching and training my children in the gospel. I guess I can cook a decent meal for us every now and then (I mean, let's not go crazy!) I guess I can handle my job as a Premier Designs Jewelry Lady, the finances, and anything else that may come up. My husband protects me, my children, and all of you from the nasty in the world. Well, he's trying-he's fighting the good fight. He puts the bad guys away. But his job never ends, he rarely gets to see the verdict come in, before he gets one out, 5 more cases come in.

He is the love of my life and my super hero.

What do I need to learn? The thing I have blogged about for about 3 years now and still don't seem to get it. Trust in the Lord. He will bring me strength. He is the only one who can fill my cup. He's waiting for me. He wants to help me. So why do I not run to Him? Because for some reason I think I am WonderWoman and can conquer the world-so not true. So my one and only goal this year: Trust in the Lord more fully. Come to Him. Reach out to Him.

I bet my life will be easier. What do you think?

I should...

Blog.

The house is quiet, the snow is falling, and I am bored. I should blog. Unfortunately, I have nothing to say. :(

Zechariah's baptism

Zechariah was baptized on Sunday after Christmas Day, December 26th, 2010 by his Daddy, Gary Griesmyer

Our beautiful family on this very special day!

Can you see the tears in my eyes? He's my baby! I was SO pleased and choked up that I couldn't even smile right!

We had a lot of family and friends there to support him on this big decision to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His program was beautiful. His uncle Ken Griesmyer played the piano. Nanner Griesmyer gave the opening prayer. Grandma Hardin (Johnson) conducted the music, Uncle Scott Johnson gave a talk on baptism. His cousin Hannah Griesmyer and I sang a duet, "A Child's Prayer", his 2 grandfathers were the witnesses as he was baptized by his dad, his uncle Will Griesmyer gave a talk on the Holy Ghost, and his PaPaw Johnson gave the closing prayer. All the present family members who carried the priesthood plus our bishop, Farrel Martin, stood in the circle to confirm him a member of the church. The spirit was so strong. The outpouring of love from our friends and family members was amazing to behold. The shear volume of our family there on both sides and their participation in the baptismal program was truly a blessing. I was amazed and overwhelmed by the power that our 2 families possessed. We are a united force! We are one in purpose, goals, dreams, aspirations. We were there to help bring another soul unto Christ and into His kingdom. Isn't that amazing? I was in awe the whole time. I felt the love of Christ, of family, of friends, and of community stronger that day than I have in a very long time. I am so happy for my little man. I know this may sound funny and you may not believe it but he is different. He is calmer. He is more patient. He is more responsible. (I'll blog more about that later)

The Holy Ghost is real. Jesus is the Christ, our Savior and Redeemer.