Pictures from Utah

This is Jordyn. She was the honorary babysitter of Elijah  and she was SOOO good! She is kind, thoughtful, responsible, and very obedient. She's just an all around great kid and I love her!

Here is DeDe, my cousin by marriage and newest jeweler. Doesn't she look pretty? She has turned in her sweatshirts and sweatpants for shirts, slacks, and jewelery. Go DeDe! I'm excited to watch her success in the business and feel pretty and good about herself!

 This is Madison. She is quite the character. She hates being a girl. She wants to be a boy desperately but just look how gorgeous she is! I told her that girls are way cooler than boys. They can do everything that boys can do (except hold the Priesthood) PLUS they can have babies! How cool is that!?! I don't know if she was convinced. (sigh)

 This cutie is Jackson. He is a 4 year old going on 14. He thinks he is just as big as Tanner, his older brother who I wasn't able to get a pic of, He goes over to "2-Grandma's" and pretty much gets whatever he wants. Could you resist that face?  He was very kind to share his balls and other toys with Elijah. I think he was ready to see us go though. :) He's kinda used to having Mom and Grandma all to himself.

I didn't get pics of the 2 oldest boys: Rob, DeDe's hubby and Tanner, her oldest son. They are both wonderful people and I love them dearly. Great times were had and strong loving relationships were built.

Utah and learning new things

I went to Utah! 

Yep, last week I flew out on Tuesday morning with Eli in tow to SLC, Utah for a week. First of all, I hadn't planned on bringing Elijah but of course the day before I'm set to leave he developed a high fever. Thank goodness he's still under 2 and flies free!I knew I would feel SO much better having him with me than worrying about him constantly. I'm so glad I brought him. Besides his ears hurting him like crazy on the flight over and much of the week-he was a doll! He is such a joy! 

Why did I go to Utah? 

No, it's not b/c I love the cold and just had to hit the slopes. I went out to train a new jeweler for my Premier Designs Jewelery Business. DeDe Griesmyer, my cousin by marriage, decided to become a jeweler so I flew out to conduct her training show. She did great and will be fabulous! I had a lovely time too! She is absolutely fabulous and so is her cute family. I totally love them! She's a football fanatic and used to wear sweatshirts and sweat pants everyday. Teeheehee. :) Now she wears earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. She ROCKS! I love her personality too. It's kinda hard to pinpoint or sum it up with just one or two adjectives. You know like people give me: "OCD, neat freak, dramatic, etc, etc" She is kind and thoughtful of others and their feelings while being independent and not caring what others think of her. She is loving and nurturing to her kids and other people's children but lets them do their own thing and roam free.  I learned a lot from her this past week. The biggest thing I learned is to let go. I want to give up the 'messy house is bad' frame of mind. Ok, I really cannot function if my house is messy or trashed but I can let it get messy to ensure the happiness of my family and friends. I mean, I love when my kids are home and feel peaceful and calm but when there are others in the house too, I feel responsible for them. I must watch them at all times! I worry over the state of the house and things getting broken or damaged. I know many moms who can easily just let loads of kids come over and never bat an eye about it. I watch them. Not to get them into trouble but b/c I feel like they are my responsibility and they need to be safe. I can't just go to my room and get on the computer if my kids have company over. This makes me limit my kids from having people over if I have things to do. But here's the catch: I would rather them be here than anywhere else. I want this to be their safe haven. So, I have decided to be more embracing and let things go a little more. It will take me a while but I am determined to get there. Thank DeDe for teaching me this ultra important concept. You see, EVERY kid in DeDe's neighborhood hangs out at her house. Kids call her if they miss the bus in the morning, they come over to chat with her, they eat her food, they make jokes and laugh with her, they call her Mom. She has created a safe place for these kids. Because of that, her own kids are always at her house. What a blessing! I want that too. 

About Utah:

It truly is a different world out there. It's Mormon country. This thrilled me! I told DeDe she  had to take me "Mormon shopping". I don't like to online shop. (Aren't I weird!?!) I have to see it, feel it, and all that jazz before I'll buy something. Anyways, they have Deseret Book on every corner just about, not to mention LDS books at Wal-Mart! How cool is that?! Their grocery stores have huge emergency preparedness aisles and food storage stocked aisles. People out here are like, "food storage? what's that? Won't Obama just give us food"? (Ooooohhhh!!! Did I really just go there?! HAHAHA! Yes, I did!!!) 

Anyways, I digress: Ok, so there's missionary malls, and just about everything LDS you could want. There's a ward building on literally every corner and a temple 4 blocks up the hill from DeDe's house. How BLESSED are they??? When I told my husband about this and how cool it was he asked me if I wanted to live there. To which I replied. No way! 

Why do you ask? They do not know what they have. Everyone is LDS. They are immersed in this culture and do not seem to be as committed or as strong as the people out here. I liked being different in school. I liked having to stand up and say, "I don't drink." I want my kids to have to stand up as well. I want them to be 'peculiar' people. I think this gives them character. I think it will only benefit them in the long run. Now, yes I know that sometimes it is just too hard for some kids to withstand peer pressure out here in the 'field' but kids in Utah fall too! What makes it worse is that all their friends are LDS and fall or are the ones dragging them down! At least out here you know where people stand. You're either hot or cold. It's pretty easy to tell which. Maybe I'm wrong about this but I just know from my experience of living in the Bible belt. I was one of like 5-10 Mormons in my entire high school at any period of the 4 yrs I was there. I was different. Everyone knew I was Mormon. Everyone knew my standards. Everyone knew and respected that! They'd ask questions. The truly huge bible thumpers would try to get me to "convert and see the err of my ways" but mostly they helped me stand for what I believed in. I remember being at a party and I was very depressed. I decided it was time to try a beer. I couldn't believe no one would give me one! My ex boyfriend was there and some of my other friends and they saw to it that NO one give me anything to drink! Boy was I blessed that day. I can't imagine what would have happened if they had not cared and let me do something I would forever regret. Hopefully my boys will not put themselves in a situation like that but if they do, I hope they can stand strong and their friends are respectful enough to help them. BUT since the parties are gonna be at my house, because I'll be the coolest Mom ever, there's nothing to worry about right?!? :)

Wow! What a long post this turned out to be.I'll upload the pics tomorrow. I'm tired!

Yep, I learned a lot of new things and I had a good time and I'm happy to be home. Even though it's been a whirlwind of no sleep, surgery, and dr visits. BUt that is for another post!

Nightmares

I had a horrible dream last night! First of all, I usually never dream. Secondly, I was already tired but got onto Hulu to "wind down" and ended up watching one of my fav shows, Law and Order SVU. Gary HATES this show! Mainly b/c that's what he deals with at work and he doesn't want to watch it on TV as recreation. I watch it b/c #1, I love Stabler and Benson. and #2 it makes me feel like I kinda understand a little of why he's a nut case about stuff sometimes and what he doesn't bring home to expose me to but keeps inside all locked up. Sick right? OK, well then my DH informs me that he got Black Swan for me. WooHoo! A dance movie! Awesome! Seriously, that is about ALL I knew about it. It won a bunch of awards and it was about ballet. I figured I was in.

WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!?! 

I was shocked! I was appalled! And yet, I kept watching? I could go on and on about the garbage that is being forced down our throats through "award winning" movies, TV, documentaries, etc. But you really don't want to hear it and I'll just get myself even more pissed off. Let's just say that I am more grateful than ever to have turned off our cable. I will not be spending my money or my time on Hollywood and their agenda to destroy our families, our morals, and our  country. Even if that means I miss out on "culture". I'll make my own-thank you very much! I just wasted a whole lot of time and subjected my mind and spirit to garbage. It's going to take me a lot longer to get this out. And that my friends, is the power of the Dark Side. Lying in wait.

Thank goodness today is General Conference. Let the Light Shine Before Men!

A month (or more) in revue

Where to start?
Beginning of Feb we found out the sex of our baby: A GIRL!!! Super excited!

A week later, I go back to the OBGYN and am told that I need to get a follow up ultrasound b/c of cysts on the baby's brain. I freak until I talk to my BIL and SIL and do some research about how common this is and how 95% of the time, it goes away.

I go to Atlantic City with Gary! By myself for a whole week! My mom came from GA and took care of my boys for me so Gary and I could get away. Gary had a training there and spouses could come, so I decided it was now or never since the Army keeps jacking our leave and such. UGH! That's another post in and of itself.  Anyways, I was totally bored during the day but brought all my Premier Designs paper work that I inputted while Gary was in class. We had lunch together everyday.  He would get off work and we would go explore and eat fabulous food full of lovely conversation without interruptions. So great! Thanks Mom for taking care of my babies!

I get back and have to take Eli to the Dr. He has strep and maybe another ear infection. His tubes had fallen out already. Since then he's had 3 more ear infections. YIKES! I took him to the ENT a week later and he still has fluid behind his ears. They gave him a test for his ear drums (or something) and both of his ears are completely flat lined-NOT GOOD!

Eli playing before getting his 1st set of tubes in!

Elijah about 1 yr ago getting ready for his 1st set of tubes :(

Meanwhile, I'm working my butt off with Premier. I had many shows as well as my own renewal show for my 1st anniversary with Premier. It coincided with my b-day. So I threw myself a party! My girlfriend, Salena, made me a Wonder woman cake. I loved it!

On my actual birthday, Gary took the day off. We really didn't have plans (b/c I did not make any! UGH!) so we ended up being "persuaded" by my SIL to get food storage. What?!? It was my stinkin' birthday! But, that's what we did. We bought 1/2 year food storage for our whole family. Because we spent so much on that, I wouldn't let Gary take my truck in to get a new CD player put in. ---This is one of the things I told him I wanted for my birthday 2 months previously. Somehow, it didn't seem as important as before. Because we bought that much food storage, we had to find a place to put it! Which meant we had to clear out our garage, which meant putting up bunkbeds in the boys room, which meant cleaning and rearranging their room, and the list goes on...
Soccer practice and then cake with family sealed the jammed backed day.

Me at 19ish weeks preggo

Meanwhile, I went back for the follow up ultrasound. Then I go back to the OBGYN where they say, I need another ultrasound b/c my AFI is low. And with a smile on the nurse and doctor's face says, "Don't worry, just drink lots of water and rest". I had all 4 boys with me at this apt. They were great waiting for 45 mins in the waiting room but were spent by the time the actual apt came. Rest? While I'm wrestling with Ammon and Eli and threatening Gabriel and Zechariah with bodily harm if they touch one more thing...  Really? HAHAHAHA!!!

I go home and start researching low AFI: then, I start to freak! Fast Sunday was coming up so I asked all my family to fast with me and my boys (anytime I say "boys" this includes Gary) that my AFI would increase and the baby would be healthy and my body would support this pregnancy the way it needs to.

I went back for my follow up ultrasound. Guess what?!? My AFI is higher! Prayer works and God hears and answers them. I'm still downing the water and trying to rest (this may be a permanent change for me!) So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! to everyone who joined us in this fast and praying for our baby girl. She is already gorgeous and I can't wait to get her here healthy and whole and perfect in every way!

Isn't she beautiful?!? That's her little elbow tucked around her head while she sleeps. I'm in love already!

  

I feel extremely loved and blessed by my Father in Heaven. Faith is a hard concept for me sometimes as even though I know prayer works and I need to trust in Him, sometimes I can't let go of the panic and fear. I'm working on it though. Gratefully, God is willing to work with me! :)

We're having a GIRL!!!

Thursday Feb 10th, Gary and I packed up our 4 boys and headed to Tower Radiology for my ultrasound. I was excited, I was nervous, I was worried! My technician was super sweet b/c Ammon and Eli were NOT being very cooperative! She even got the boys a tin can full of coloring books and crayons to hold their attention. Right off the bat, we got a glimpse of ...nothing. I mean, we are SO used to being able to spot that "turtle" from a mile away. Gary and I gasped. Really? Is that it? Are you sure??? Of course, these thoughts were not vocalize out loud. I think Gary knew I would kill him because I was saying, "Oh my gosh it's a GIRL!" There was no room for doubting Thomas in my midst. After the head checks and heart checks, etc, etc. The tech wanted to be 100% positive it was a girl so she poked and prodded my tummy until little miss thing quit crossing her legs (she's already so modest!) and showed us her goodies. Turns out we were looking for 3 little lines. Man, this girl stuff is already hard! I mean, boys are a dead give away! Anyways, we found them! I held it together until we all filed out into the waiting room where several ladies counted the boys coming out, then saw me, then asked the question: "Did you get a girl this time?" I lost it! I started balling and smiling and shaking my head like a dumb idiot and bearing my testimony of prayer and receiving blessings when we put forth faith. There was such a peace that came over that room and several of them even gave an "Amen". :) We got in the car, bowed our heads, and through choked up voice and many tears expressed our gratitude that the Lord saw fit to answer our prayers and send us a baby girl to our family. Gary was a man of few words, he was a bit dumbfounded. The boys are ecstatic! and So am I!!!

Things kids say

I have a friend who is constantly blogging about the funny things her kids say. The misuse words, come up with new meanings to words, come up with just crazy ideas, and it all gets a good laugh. Well, my kids don't typically misuse words or say crazy things (at least not around me) but I did catch a super sweet thing the other day that I never want to forget.

Here's the conversation:

Me: "Zech, Gabe, get your clothes on, its time to get ready for school."
Gabe: I don't WANT to go to school!
Me: "Gabriel I'm sorry you don't want to but you are going, those are the rules, get your cothes on. You have 5 mins or you go to school in your PJ's." (I walk out to tend to the younger 2 kids who cannot dress themselves)
Gabriel-under his breath: No I'm not going to school and you can't make me, (even softer) stupid mommy."
Me (reentering the room b/c OF COURSE I heard this!): "Gabriel, that was very disrespectful and you do NOT talk to me that way. DO you understand? I want an apology."
Gabriel: Sorry Mommy
(I leave the room to finish getting the others dressed)
Zechariah: "Yeah, Gabe you can't talk to Mom like that because you might make her cry and I don't like it when she cries."

My heart melted and I got a tiny tear in my eye. But don't worry, I didn't show Zech! :)

Happy Thoughts: Gratitude Journal?

I figured I should blog about happy things since the last post was a bit of a downer and sometimes I don't feel the desire to post unless my head is so full of turmoil I need a place to spew it out. (sigh) I honestly need to keep a gratitude journal b/c there are so many wonderful things that are happening and DO happen everyday in my life. Here's just a few I've been thinking about:

• I am SO pleased about the growth of my oldest son, Zechariah. I am grateful the Lord saw fit to press upon my heart and mind after I did all that I could do, to seek medicinal help. I could give a rat's butt what people think of that decision now. (I didn't used too-it used to hurt me deeply) I know that it was the right choice. He is sooo much happier. He is able to be the person he wanted to be but somehow just couldn't. I am grateful I could help him in this way at such a young age so that he does not have to go through the same struggles that some of my family members went through because of the same chemical imbalances.
• Gabriel's laughter lights up my life. I have worried about my Gabe. He is the 2nd son. He has always been in Zech's shadow. Zech is such a strong personality I feared for Gabriel's ability to make his own way in the world without following the crowd due to low self esteem. What a blessing he is! His personality is SO fun! It is exactly perfect for the dynamics b/w him and Zech. Gabriel takes pride in telling jokes and being funny and he is SO cute about it! His laughter is truly contagious! I am so grateful for his fun loving spirit!
  
• Ammon is precious! He is also precocious! I enjoy spending my days with him by my side. What a handsome little guy he is too! Be still my soul!!! His smile melts my heart! He comes up with the greatest stories, he talks to me like a little person-asking me about things, my feelings, telling me about his dreams and his feelings. It is pretty cool! Ammon and Elijah seem to be a perfect pair. They get into stuff and make messes and drive me crazy sometimes but the joy they have in the process is truly inspiring. I hope they always stay close.
• Elijah is a blissful mess. He is not speaking as clearly as my others did at this point but he understands EVERYTHING!!! Be careful what you say around him. He detests fighting and will yell at the top of his lungs if the other boys are yelling at each other. Will he be our little peacemaker or is he just waiting to get big enough to throw down with the others? Either way, it will be fun to watch.
  
• My Premier Designs jewelry business is taking off! It seems that the Lord is blessing me even despite my lack of faith. (He tends to do that with me a lot) I am talking to more and more people who are interested in becoming a jeweler as a way to help with their family's finances. My SIL, Sarah has turned out to be my biggest cheerleader. I desperately needed one too! She has talked with many of her friends and family who are now taking a look at the business! Who knows what will happen?!
• My husband loves and adores me. I am SOOO grateful for this. He is my best friend! Our 10 year anniversary was last year, we are now approaching our 11th. Our 10 yr cruise never happened. I am debating headed somewhere just the 2 of us whether we have the $ or not. (I know, that is so bad huh?) Hmmmm, maybe I'll have to pray for some more weekends like this last one: I had 2 jewelry shows retailing over $2,000. My profit is 50%. Sweet huh?!?
• I have amazing family and friends! I typically do not get on the phone and call them all and keep in touch like I should. I do not leave my house and go out with my friends like I should. But I am surrounded by the most amazing people in my life. Let me just name a few: Sarah Griesmyer, who knew we would get so close and enjoy living next to each other? I love it! :), Kelsie Carrington, you are the most caring person I know with the biggest heart too! I am SO grateful to have you as my BFF., Aunt Nancy-what would I do without you? You are always there in time of need and willing to lend a hand, Salena Thomas- I wish I spent more time with you. You are cooler than you even know. The list goes on and on and on. These are just a few of the loved ones I have that touch my life every day for good.

I promise to post pics on my next blog post and to pimp out my page. Supposedly I can do way more stuff than I do. Who has time for all that really? I'm doing good to type this out and send it into cyber space! Oh well! Now you know that I am blessed and everything is not doom and gloom. In fact, most of the time I am a happy person! Sure, I've got problems and trials but I try to remember that it is how we deal with those trials that really matter. That is our test. I hope I pass! Sometimes I feel like I'm just barely making it through the day much less this life! But then I think about how quickly this life passes and I get all sad and teary b/c my babies are growing up and I wish I could just stop time or slow it down so I can get all that I want to instill in them there. What if I don't? -----holy crap I'm getting on a whole new subject/tangent/rant. I should stop here!

Sometimes I have to laugh at myself! :)